Married couples often have lots of drama in their lives, and when they air their dirty laundry online for the world to like, comment, and share, these posts can go viral. Here are some times where husbands and wives really showed the other who’s boss through hilarious tweets.
Waiting for that life insurance claim
While it’s probably rare – we hope – that a husband or wife would wish demise upon the other, they may joke around about it; at least we think this is a joke. It’s a known fact that people often take out life insurance policies, and when they get married, their spouse would claim the money.
This wife obviously keeps that fact in mind every time her husband goes to the doctor for a checkup. Maybe just once, they’ll say he’s terminal and she’ll be able to get the life insurance money. The love really is strong here.
Thinking five years ahead
While men are perfectly capable of planning their lives for themselves, women usually feel the need to take over once they’re married. They will tell their husbands when they’re going out for drinks with the in-laws, when they’re having a barbecue with colleagues, and when their kids’ soccer games are.
Husbands eventually learn that they probably shouldn’t make plans without speaking with their wives beforehand. After all, they run the home, right? This man clearly knows that his wife is in charge, so he would never know what his life will look like in five years without first asking her. He jokingly said this in a Tweet after his boss asked him where he saw himself in the future.
It is a law – at least in the United States – that married couples don’t have to testify against each other in a court of law due to spousal privilege. This means that if a husband or wife knows something that could incriminate the other, they are not required to speak about it in court because the communication between them as a married couple is privileged.
On the other hand, this wife thought it could be fun to threaten her husband by saying she would testify against him if given the opportunity. The thought of this could drive him crazy, thinking of anything he might have done that she could use to incriminate him. This poor man.
How long do I have to wait?
We’ve all been there; we’re watching a show or movie with someone and they want to pause it for reasons x, y, or z. It can be annoying, but we do try to be polite and patiently wait for them to return from the restroom, finish making popcorn, end their phone call, or whatever it is they’re doing.
In this case, a husband and wife were watching a TV show together when they heard a strange noise outside. When the husband went out to investigate, the wife was curious just how long she’d have to wait before just pressing play and continuing the show alone. Clearly she cared more about her sitcom than the potential danger lurking outside.
Hedgehog, it is
Chances are, if a home has adorable pets, it’s because the woman of the house wanted them – or, if there are kids, the parents finally gave in after incessant begging. In this situation, the wife of this duo decided that she wanted a hedgehog.
We’re not really sure why the husband chose to protest, because he must have known in the end that they would get a hedgehog. Men just can’t say no to the charm of their wives – either that or he didn’t want to listen to her anymore.
Sometimes it is hard to understand that men were once babies, and that they have feelings too. As messed up as it is, they’re expected to be big, strong, and tough at all times, and not really show emotion.
Well, this wife wasn’t having any of it when her husband started to let out his soft side. She was ready to return him to his mother, just like most people do when the baby they’re holding starts to cry. A little harsh, don’t you think?
Anyone who’s ever worked in an office building will know that finding a happy medium with the thermostat is impossible. There will always be someone who is too cold, or someone who is too hot. This can be the same in a home with husbands and wives.
While heating and air conditioning can be expensive, being miserable because of the room temperature is pretty brutal too – especially if you and your significant other can’t agree on said temperature! This is surely something married couples fight about all the time.
Cute little idiosyncracies
We all have little quirks about us that make us unique. These idiosyncrasies make us who we are, and in the beginnings of relationships, they are often what our partners love about us.
That being said, after years of being together, these can be the things that drive them crazy. For instance, this wife said that her husband can be so annoying that if he were to disappear, the police would have good reason to believe she was behind it.
When you have a joint-checking account, and share money with your spouse, you have to think about them when making large purchases. Because of this, many married couples have a limit on how much they can spend before they should check with the other to make sure the amount is okay.
While it may be a stereotype, women often spend more money on things like clothes, and body products than men. This husband has clearly accepted that his wife’s spending limit will always be more than his.
While on the topic of women spending money, we might as well bring up the fact that sometimes surprises can come up while paying taxes. When couples realize how much of their money their significant other actually spends, things can get a bit heated.
This man seems to think that getting married was a gamble, and he wants to know if he can write it off as a gambling loss for tax filing purposes. It looks like wifey had a few too many spending sprees that year.
Husband number one
It’s a known fact that women have it easier when trying to find a partner than men. Sorry, guys. That being said, once they do find a mate, they sometime feel the need to remind them that they have other options and can easily move on if need be.
This woman clearly doesn’t want her husband to forget that he married up, and that if they were to divorce, she could find someone new very quickly. And so, she often introduces him as husband number one, just in case.
Happy wife, happy life
There can be two different possible scenarios here. Either we have a similar situation to the hedgehog couple from before where the wife wanted something, so she got it. Or, it could be that the husband is really the one who wanted two kittens, so he made sure to say yes when she asked.
Regardless, these two now have some adorable pets in their home and even if the man didn’t want them, his wife is happy so all is good. You know what they say: happy wife, happy life.
A new pet
We’re not sure why this husband thought of giving his wife the task of taking care of the hedgehog who’d moved in under their deck. Of course she would think it was too cute to get rid of, name it, and give it Cocoa Puffs!
We have a feeling now that Lord Melbourne has a name, he won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. It looks like this man has got a new unwanted pet. That will probably be the last time he asks his wife to help with pest patrol.
Broken toaster trick
This situation has probably happened a million times between siblings. Something breaks, what do you do? Automatically blame your brother or sister. Once you get married, though, you now have a new scapegoat, and they’re there for life.
When this woman accidentally broke the toaster and didn’t want to admit what she did, she decided to try blaming her husband. Most likely, he was too scared to defend himself, so he gave in, admitted to something he didn’t do, and came home from work with a brand new toaster.
In plain sight
Have you ever been looking for something and then when you ask for help finding it, the person tells you that it’s right in front of you? It happens to the best of us.
While women are usually the ones who clean, organize, and put things away, the men should still be able to find something if it’s in plain sight. That being said, we’re sure it’s happened to every family: you’re late because one of you simply couldn’t find the coat that was so obviously in the hall closet.
Living in fear
Okay, it’s a sad truth. Sometimes women can be intimidating thanks to the unnecessary amount of hormones and emotions they are born with. However, they are aware of this and use it to their advantage to scare their husbands into doing what they want.
While you may know the acronym M.I.L.F as something else, this man decided to get creative and twist it to fit his life. We have to give him credit, but we feel bad that he lives in fear of his wife. She probably loves it, though.
Childbirth vs. full body cast
Men will never understand what women go through during childbirth. Science says that there are only one or two things that even come close to comparing to the pain. This poor guy, thought he had finally reached that level when he was in a full body cast after an accident.
His wife was by his when he woke up, however, to remind him that she still wins and has still endured more than him. Giving birth is something women will always have over men; it’s a fact of life and nature.
Unloading the dishwasher
It seems to be something all married couples struggle with: noise levels. When one is trying to watch TV and the other is trying to do household chores, it can cause a real struggle. Little does this husband know, he is wrong in this situation.
Why? Because while he is relaxing and watching sports, his wife is slaving away trying to keep their house nice. He has some kind of nerve asking her to be quiet – we definitely think this would be a good motive.
Can we just say that it is time to break this stereotype that only the women have to do things around the house? Yes, it’s nice that men tend to be the ones taking out the trash, and doing yard work, but it is just a fact that women tend to do the laundry, dishes, cleaning, and often the cooking.
This lady had had enough and decided she wasn’t going to do it anymore. She warned her husband that she wasn’t going to do laundry that weekend. Good for her!
Pretend to be lazy
Yet again, it seems like this wife is expected to be the one doing the cleaning around the house and, though she often complies, she thought she would try something new this time.
Perhaps if she pretends to be lazy, her husband will notice the mess and she can convince him to vacuum – or even better, he will just start cleaning on his own without having to be told! We’re really curious how this situation played out after he entered the house.
One thousand babies
While being sick is no fun for anyone, it seems like woman are still able to carry on with their lives and regular daily activities while suffering from a cold.
It’s an unfortunate stereotype that when men are sick, they are a bit more dramatic and expect the world to stop for them. It seems like this woman was stuck taking care of her husband one day when he stayed home sick and he was a little bit too whiny for her liking.
Leaving a helpful note
Sometimes it is hard to believe husbands are able to function without their wives. They tend to be there for each other when they’re needed and help each other out with reminders, difficult things, and so on.
This wife didn’t want her hubby to forget his keys, so she was nice and left them on the counter for him. She added a little note for him, that may have been a little unnecessary, but she was just trying to be helpful!
The whole bed
Most married couples share a bed together and, while this is often a wonderful experience for them, sometimes people just really want their own space.
This woman gets far too excited when her husband falls asleep on the couch and she is able to have the entire bed to herself. We can only imagine how she reacts if he goes away on a trip for the weekend and she gets multiple days where she gets to take over the whole bed.
Kit-Kats are great. Few people will deny this statement, but they are not the greatest thing in the world. We’d like to hope that someone’s wedding day would be one of the the best days of their lives, as this is a common feeling.
That being said, this person apparently thinks that having two Kit-Kats fall from a vending machine by mistake would definitely be better that getting married. It looks like everyone has their own priorities in life; no judgement here.
Helping out around the house
Okay, we have to call this woman out. She should feel lucky that her husband even offers to help with things like loading the dishwasher. Countless wives everywhere would give anything for their hubbies to do something like this.
On the other hand, while it’s cute that this guy chose to help his wifey out, it’s something she should always be doing, so he doesn’t really deserve praise for it. What he should be doing is telling all of his married friends to follow suit.
Women are always right
For any guys out there who are married or plan on getting married, they should know one thing: the woman is always right. If you learn this early on, you will have a much easier time adjusting to married life and things will just be better for you.
It is smarter than getting into a fight only to realize that she was right all along – it can save so many arguments. And another thing to keep in mind is that even when she’s wrong, she’s still always right. You’re welcome.
Not the same
Like many people around the world, Simon is a bacon lover. He likes the real thing, though, not the low sodium garbage his wife tried to bring home to him. While he is basically saying that the alternative is edible, it is not the same as the original deliciousness.
We assume that his wife only cares about her husband’s cholesterol and is just looking after his health, but it should probably be a crime to try passing low-sodium bacon off as the real deal.
We don’t know if it’s biology or just coincidental, but have you ever noticed that women get cold easily and men always seem to be warm? Whether it’s nature working its course or not, many wives take advantage of their husband’s warmth by using them as their personal heaters.
To them, there really is nothing better than tucking frozen toes under their man’s body weight while cuddling on the couch. No need to get up and put on socks when this works even better!
Chicago meets Orange is the New Black
For those who haven’t seen the musical or the TV show, here’s a brief summary: Chicago is about women who have taken their husbands’ lives, and Orange is the New Black is about female prisoners.
This wife seems to have combined them both with this spooky Tweet about how crazy her husband makes her. She doesn’t want to get stuck in the prison’s laundry room – which we know from OITNB and other prison-related productions, is no fun – so she decides not to risk killing him because she hates doing lots of laundry.
Three special words
There are times our significant others don’t respond to situations the way we hope or expect them to. This man knows that all too well. He was probably thinking that, upon returning home early from work, his wife would jump excitedly into his arms.
On the contrary, she assumed he was fired because he came home sooner than normal. Maybe when he said no she proceeded to jump excitedly into his arms, but for some reason, we highly doubt that.
Deciding what to have for dinner is a conflict that will always repeat itself. This difficult decision becomes even more intense when there are two people involved, especially husbands and wives. One may be craving Chinese, while the other is dying for pizza.
Sometimes wives have a tendency to make this process quite frustrating by telling their husbands the decision is up to them, but then proceeding to say all of their options are bad. This has probably caused more arguments between married couples than cheating.
Here, we have a prime example of a wife purposely annoying her husband about just that topic. While we understand that choosing what to eat can be hard, someone has to decide.
This woman chose to subtly pass the torch onto her husband only to reject every single suggestion he made. She is playing a cruel game on that poor man. If it were up to us, we would probably eat alone. Hopefully they made a choice and went on with their lives.
Do you have a specific spot in your fridge where the milk goes? Does it drive you crazy when someone moves it or returns it to another place? Apparently this woman would have answered yes to both of those questions.
After getting married, it seems like her husband had to learn the hard way that there is, in fact, a spot for milk in the fridge. Because this was new to him, it probably took time for him to get used to this. Hopefully he figured it out eventually, though.
Speak for yourself
Usually it’s adorable when people have been together for so long they start to finish each other’s sentences. On the other hand, this man probably doesn’t think it is that cute when his wife never let’s him talk.
Or maybe, perhaps, he thinks it is easier to just let her do all the talking for him. It keeps him out of sticky situations and he doesn’t have to think about what to say. He really does seem to have it good.
Laundry folding machine
Every child knows the mom glare and they know they’re in trouble when they see it. What children probably don’t know, however, is that the glare also works on dads.
As much as this husband wishes, laundry is not his wife’s job, and, if he knows what’s good for him, he should help with this task. When he tried to suggest otherwise, all it took was a death glare from her for him to stop in his tracks and start folding some clothes. It really is a magical secret weapon.
Are my hands cold?
This is something that girls do and no one will really ever understand why. Perhaps they feel no one will believe that they are actually cold unless they put their icy hands on someone else to prove it.
This poor husband was practically frostbitten when his wife put her frozen fingers on him and asked if her hands were cold. Probably because he didn’t want to have his life threatened, or maybe because he was just trying to be nice, he said “no” as not to upset her.
The art of understanding women
Another thing women tend to do is eat ice cream when they are sad about something because calories don’t count when you’re having a bad day. Sometimes they just really need to treat themselves.
That being said, you do not – we repeat, do not – want to get in the way of a woman and her ice cream carton. If you ever see your wife doing this, just slowly and quietly back away because she will probably either snap at you or start crying. Either way, run!
Getting on each other’s nerves
It’s well-known that if you spend too much time with someone, they will start to get on your nerves. This makes sense because humans are not really meant to spend 24/7 with each other; everyone needs some alone time every now and then.
Unfortunately when you’re married, your spouse can become your nemesis and everything they do starts to annoy you. There may be times where even them using the restroom will be too much for you to handle. Just take a deep breath and go for a walk.
Oh, I was just gonna do that
Many of us are guilty of waiting till the last minute to do chores in the hopes that someone else will just do it. Some people are sneaky about this though. Take this guy who pretended that he was just about to start doing chores when his wife did it instead.
He had probably sat there all day on social media, but didn’t want his wife to think he was avoiding house work. Well played, sir, well played.
No way out
Women have a magical gift of always knowing when something needs doing around the house because in reality, there is always something to be done. If someone – namely, their husband – is in the certain room they have in mind, they will jump at the opportunity to trick them into helping out.
If they’re in the bathroom, they’ll suddenly remember the toilet needs to be cleaned; if they’re in the kitchen, they realize the cat needs food; if they’re in the garage, they think the laundry needs to be brought in.
Learning a valuable lesson
Married couples usually have joint bank accounts and share the money and income between them. That being said, there is usually one who keeps track of how expensive certain household products are – it’s different in every family.
Clearly it’s the wife here and this husband learned a valuable lesson when he used too many paper towels. How dare he waste something so pricy? Thankfully his wife is there to remind him not to do such things.
Throwing the kids out
Dad jokes are classic and often hilarious. Most of the time, however, the rest of the family doesn’t always think so fondly of them. This is especially true when a father “misunderstands” his wife when she tells him to throw out their kids’ ruined shoes and thinks she means to throw out the children instead.
You can understand where the confusion came from, though. Those kiddos are definitely going to need therapy long after they realize that this was a joke because this was probably traumatizing.
That was rhetorical
There is nothing more annoying than when you ask a question out loud and no one knows if they’re supposed to answer; the worst is when they actually answer a rhetorical question, or don’t respond to something that needed a response.
This happens a lot in marriage and eventually you start to learn when a question is rhetorical and when it permits an answer. Once married couples recognize something like this, they will save themselves a lot of frustration and there will be significantly less fighting involved in their marriage.